airmonkeys

I can't believe it has been 8 years since I started this place up.
When I look back at the things I wrote I feel that in some ways I had grown and in others I had not....
There are some things that I actually used to know before which now I've left behind in the journey of seeking information.

I used to wonder
Where will I be
What will I see?

But as I grow older
my visions become less spectacular

Where there were some hope
now lies broken promises, harsh realities and responsibilities

I've lost myself
Somewhere along this path
Somewhere I have become cynical, sarcastic, neurotic

The only hope now that I hold onto is that I would be able to find myself. Be complete and at peace.

But till then I trudge along the paths
meandering wandering lost and unsatisfied.

Wow 2008 hey!!
first of all
HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!

as usual i put up some new yrs resolutions
and as usual they havent changed much from before

so here goes ...in no particular order

1) learn to cook
2) learn to sew/knit/crochet or something like that
3) learn self defence -krav maga/kickboxing
4) do some sorta sport
5) lose weight/get fit
6) do better in my studies
7) get a job related to finance + get graduate job
8) don't pursue guys...srsly over having crushes on ppl ....it always ends up with my own horrendous display of affection ...which is quite disconcerting...followed by the inevitable crash of a relationship....  In any case its high time guys pursued me! right
9) keep room CLEAN and ORGANISED
10) do more at home

thats all i can think of atm. i possibly should add try to get through another year without any breakdowns~ which i already broke~ lol
anywayyyssss i hope everyone out there is doing fine! and if ur still reading this like wow 4 yrs going strong

airmonkeys

It's been a year since my grandmother passed away and I've just realised that i haven't put up anything on DA since then. I do come here sporadically but lately I've felt a bit more inclined to visit more frequently. Also I am not disillusioned about the poopness of my work~ but i am too attached. And like my dying mobile phone i hold onto my DA work. I simply do wish to let it go.

Anyways it feels a bit wierd because i didnt have a chance to go and see my grandmother and i havent seen my grandfather as well. Incidentally my grandmother died on my grandfather's bday. How wierd hey~! Whenever i talk to him on the phone it feels like we are slowly slipping away and even though i know we wish to see each other there is a point reached in a conversation where there is a deep underlying feeling of wanting to talk but having nothing to talk about however inane. I love my grandfather and all i really want to do atm is go and see him. But that is next to impossible.

anyways that all from me~ I am so tired and i should be studying. ....
why is this stupid comp lab SO COLD!!!!

-airmonkeys.

Life is still going.

I am still awake
tho i have lost sense of time
I should go to sleep

questions of who i am still plague me. I wish to write intelligently and instead sound like a fool.

mayb i should take heed to the age old proverb.

good luck to everyone out there in your lifes~